Kill Your Television, or, Back to Basics

So, we are already a 'TV free' home. Sort of. We have a (n old) television and don't subscribe to cable. The TV only gets a few Spanish stations, y no hablo mas Espanol, so no luck there. Ah well. But we do subscribe to Netflix and go to the Library for videos. We stay away from Cable and limit our TV time because of each of our past experiences with 'killing the television', and the fun that it brought. Also, cable is expensive, so as an added bonus we save money.

See a pic at right of Ellie discovering her hands in her TV-free time.

What were our experiences? Well, when Kevin was about 10, his family television broke. And nobody bought another one. Voila, he discovered the outdoors even more and by age 11 was doing 100 mile bike rides up the mountains behind his home. I discovered soap operas at about the same age, and my time outdoors in the afternoon diminished, while I learned all about romance from these daily serials. Needless to say my perception of boy-girl relations was enormously skewed by the time I was participating in dating several years later. But that's a side track. Once in college (1991), or rather in a college town living with my sister, Irene while I wandered my way back to college, there was a fellow, Ed Hyde, who had a bumper sticker 'kill your television'. I remember being taken by this, and the upswelling of a discovery of 'alternative lifestyles' - disconnecting from the mainstream and finding your own way. Accompanied by healthy eating, more hiking and time outdoors, a general distrust of conventional medicine, a move towards recycling and conservation, and so on and so forth. It made sense for me. So I killed my television, on and off, in fits and starts, until about 1997, after which I don't think it's ever had much of a role in my life. What's so great about killing your television? You get LOTS of time to do all of those things you've always wanted to do. And there are other benefits. . . .

We are now in the midst of a 30 day trial break from children's videos at our house. I started using children's videos somewhat innocently, to get a 20-30 minute break from parenting and to get some household quiet time (yes, perhaps you already see the contradiction here). It was great. Mia would occupy herself while I cooked, emailed, surfed, and filed all of those mounds of paper that so aggressively invade the American household. The videos were fun, taught good manners and behavior, and had Mia singing and dancing. All good, right? It was. We watched one Barney video every couple of days. Interspersed with an occasional Baby Einstein. Mia was almost 2. One thing I had learned about the problem with videos and young children has to deal with brain development. Their little minds are literally forming the connective network that will serve them throughout their lifetimes. TV, with it's flashy images and constant movement, forms much different networks than might be formed when a child just watches the trees blowing in the wind or the sun playing off of the wall or her mama cooking dinner. So the amount of TV watched is an issue, and the incidence of attention disorders grows in direct proportion to the amount of TV watched. One Barney video every couple of days for a toddler, we were in pretty good shape I thought. It was a bite of the apple that I felt we could take.

Fast forward 6 months later and all of a sudden, I realized the video train had gotten away from me for the last couple of weeks and was completely running on its own volition, with no interruption by me. We were (or should I say Mia was) watching videos in twice-a-day blocks at least a few days a week, one hour for each block. I was maxing out my 10-video-at-a-time allotment from the Library, and our personal collection had grown to include several titles. I was pretty happy with the ones we watched - Franklin, Bob the Builder (don't you just love claymation?), Little People, and a couple of the less odd Wiggles shows (Mia's absolute favorite, by the way). But something was going on. Mia was waking every night (some molar teething, to be sure, but maybe something else too?), suddenly we were overwhelmed as a family with Mia's excitable behavior, and I never felt relaxed or quiet - serene - inside anymore. So one day, last week, Thursday I believe, I just said 'enough'. And killed our television (again). I decided to take a 30-day trial of video-free life to see what affect it might have on our family. Here's a synopsis so far:

Day 1: I am amazed to find that my daughter can actually play by herself for long periods. It is an incredibly peaceful day. Mia sleeps through the night.

Day 2: Surprisingly, an intimacy is returned. I feel closer to Mia. As a family together, we watch an evening video - something like 'Life in the Undergrowth'. A breaking of the rules of my video vacation, but we'll try it (apparently the TV doesn't die easily). It is a nature movie, we get these for fun at night or on weekends. But much to our chagrin, this series seems to focus on bug sex and bugs eating bugs (yes, sometimes during sex). Yuck. The digital cameras used are famously touted at the start of the video as being able to 'get closer than ever before'. Yahooey! And they use it for this? I am sure spiders and ants and slugs and snails (I told you it was gross) do more amazing things. But somehow even a nature video can't seem to escape the media's fixation on sex and violence? Ha. Odd. Our first step back into some kind of TV yields terrible results. Mia wakes up during the night, wide awake, scared, and I struggle to get her back to sleep.

Day 3: This is the weekend, and we all get sick with a nose cold. We have fun at a pie contest in the morning, but are all pretty sick. We cave again (resistance is futile. . . ). One 'family video' - the Wiggles Movie. Pretty tame and short, and watched in the middle of the day, not close to nap or bedtime. I can't remember if Mia wakes up at night? Oh, yes, when she falls out of the bed. Gets back to sleep quickly.

Day 4: Still sick. If we had videos today, new ones from Netflix, we'd watch them for sure. It is beautiful outside though, so the windows are open and a nice breeze blows in along with the strong Colorado sun. But let's face it, we're all tired and don't want to venture out. Lo and behold, no videos, stuck inside = great day. We have a wonderful time as a family getting back to the basics. Mia plays by herself and gets some help from us. Papa Kevin does some laundry and cleaning, I take 2 naps (!) and go through a huge pile of paperwork. We spend the whole day inside, no videos. It is truly a peaceful and rewarding day. Life slows to a comfortable pace. We all feel close again. (instead of being run like beasts) Mia sleeps through until early morning. Back to the basics and back on track.

Day five: I learn something quite beautiful today. Mia can play with Ellie and make her laugh. Now this is worth a thousand times of Mia asking to watch a movie and at least 10 or 12 meltdowns because she has to entertain herself. My heart swells as I hear little Ellie's giggles roll out, and feel her tiny body bounce with happiness in my arms.

And guess what. . . I have time on my hands to do all of those things I've always wanted to do, like start a blog to keep in touch with family. While Mia pushes Ellie around, laughing, in her walker.

to be continued. . . .