Coming Home

Blessing of all blessings, I get to come home for 14 days. The trip brings me to St. Mary's County, MD for a few days, VA for a few, and then back to MD for a few.

The girls and I took a flight out of Denver, where some foreboding lightening reminded me of the tornados that hit the area a couple of weeks ago and the fact that it can rain somewhere in the world. Alas, I am not a scared flier (if you die, you die, why spend the last few moments anticipating it?), and we took off, climbed into the air, and all was well. Mia was in a carseat - a really big deal - and Ellie in my lap. The flight was great. And the girls did well. Even the mean, grumpy men who sassed me as I humbly struggled to get us and all of our baby things settled, offered apologetic hands of help as I packed up the girls, the perfect fliers they were, to get off of the plane. If you are ever flying with children, or know someone who is, I highly recommend using a car seat (just check the bottom to make sure it is airline approved). The wee ones just think they are in a car ride, and they are strapped in so they don't try to jump or pull hair or run down the aisles. Good stuff.

We arrived in Baltimore to a flood of rain and I searched for Noah's Ark while showing Mia the teeny-tiny sailbots in the harbor down below. There was a lot of rain, soaked to the bone coming down in sheets meet-your-maker kind of rain, and I was thankful that Dad and the girls and I made it into a diner during a break in the deluge. The diner menu was packed with seafood. Ahhhhh, seafood. I could taste it in my mouth just reading about it. But it was 9:00 at night, so I flexed my discipline muscle and ordered breakfast. A good meal to get to sleep on. Dad, only a few days out of the hospital and all of its restrictions, couldn't pass on the surf and turf. Happily, we headed home.

I know all of the Marylandites in the family have watched the growth of the area steadily progress over the years, but for me the drive home was like a trip into another universe. What once was a long and somewhat contemplative cruise down a rural highway buffered by scrubby forest - only occasionally interrupted by the intrusion of a tiny afterthought of a gas station, liquor store, or strip mall is now a drive down the avenue of consumer temptation and delight - packed with a store for every want and need, even some I had not remembered I might need. In the midst of the foaming of my mouth for something new or tasty or pretty or absolutely necessary, I got a little lost. I mean in terms of knowing where I was on the drive home, and the disorientation came with the usual feeling of loss and remorse that one gets when they've moved away from home long, long ago, and so many other peoples have come and irrevocably altered almost every inch of it. I ty can't blame them. I won't be so self centered as to judge any of it as wrong, but it is a slap in the face, a penalty of sorts, perhaps, for going away and then trying to come back and find a trace of what used to be - having not stuck around to tend or nurture along any of it.

But the homecoming was good. Every once in a while I recognized a familiar little mini mall, a bend in the road, or the shell of an old familiar fast food place turned into some new fast food place with a change in paint color and signage. And once we got truly down the road, 'south of the base', to the land that used to be no-man's land and that now, still, thankfully, doesn't have a disorientingly new thing planted firmly in the soil every few feet, I felt like I recognized home, and sure enough I was close to it. For home in my case is the place where family, water, and crabs are (ok, so also where salty air, sandy soil, holly trees, ravines, marshes and marsh muck, beaches, shark's teeth, and the Tackle Box are too).

I came home to the delighful news that Mom and Dad have found a house they like that is on the market. We go to look at it and it is the perfect 'grandma's house'. There is a shady lawn, lots of privacy, acres of trees and laurel and marshy ground, a swingset, a few extra bedrooms, a couple of extra bathrooms, a fenced in spot for pets, a parking pad for an RV, two magnolia trees, and a walking-distance proximity to a daughter, son-in-law and 6 grandchildren. Life is good. Mom and Dad take a look at it. The owners leave a hidden key so that everyone and their brother (and sisterand cousin and mother and father) can go back to check it out after work, and we all give the thumbs up for the Grammie and Grampie Lamb make an offer. They do. A nervous day and a half go by, and the owners counter. Another nervous half day goes by and an agreement is made! SOLD! Yahoo! HIp Hip Hooray! We all scream so loud and is so much glee that Ellie starts to cry. Well, a little comforting will take care of that. We hollar (quietly) a little more. It is a big day.

So now we are all walking around silently redoing the house in our heads, figuring what wall colors should go here, what pictures and furniture there. Steve, the kitchen remodel guru extroardinaire, will redesign the aging kitchen, and Mom and Dad will put some long-held savings into making this house, the only house they've ever planned to truly stay in and never, ever, resell, ALL THEIR OWN.

Below are some pictures of the visit so far. I apologize for a stream of words above and disassociated stream of pics below, but the no-nap crash side-swiped the girls and I today, after several days of gleeful play with four doting grandparents and 6 doting cousins. I think the 20 hours of HGTV watching might have something to do with my energy too (yes, I have no discipline, and I am a junkie, which is why I don't have cable!), or the 90 degree humid heat which saturates my desert-dried system, or just the weight of the pure excitement of being home and seeing everyone and not wanting to ever slow down.

a handful of a thousand words'. . .

Dad and Ellie on our first morning here, and Ellies new seat. Yes, that is an extension cord looped to the seat as a tether. 'You know you're a redneck if . . . '. Actually, we just didn't have any string, and I took the opportunity to photograph this moment so that I might test the devotion and fortitude of Ellie's future suitors with it.

Kyle and Ellie. Sara and Steve's kids are all so great with our little wee ones. They have learned well from their parents, and have a lot of compassion themselves to bring to the table.

Oh, joy! The old airplane game. . . if only I knew an adult big enough to hoist me up like this for a giggling ride every once in a while.

Maggie takes a turn as I realize that my arms may atrophy and fall off for want of use over the next 14 days. Joy of joys.

We all get together at Sara and Steve's, and afterwards, it's out onto the cool deck for some relaxation time. Everyone throws on sweatshirts. I soak up the coolness. I know the heat and humidity will be here tomorrow and for several days to come. Besides, it is still snowing in the mountains outside of Denver. . .

So, Steve's dad Phil always struck me as a man whose life came to full completion when he bacame a grandfather. This picture proves it. Although only a grand-uncle-in law to Ellie, she settles into his arms and into a great peace. She must not know the subtle legal and familial difference. . .

More pictures soon, time for dinner at Scheible's!

Kill Your Television, or, Back to Basics

So, we are already a 'TV free' home. Sort of. We have a (n old) television and don't subscribe to cable. The TV only gets a few Spanish stations, y no hablo mas Espanol, so no luck there. Ah well. But we do subscribe to Netflix and go to the Library for videos. We stay away from Cable and limit our TV time because of each of our past experiences with 'killing the television', and the fun that it brought. Also, cable is expensive, so as an added bonus we save money.

See a pic at right of Ellie discovering her hands in her TV-free time.

What were our experiences? Well, when Kevin was about 10, his family television broke. And nobody bought another one. Voila, he discovered the outdoors even more and by age 11 was doing 100 mile bike rides up the mountains behind his home. I discovered soap operas at about the same age, and my time outdoors in the afternoon diminished, while I learned all about romance from these daily serials. Needless to say my perception of boy-girl relations was enormously skewed by the time I was participating in dating several years later. But that's a side track. Once in college (1991), or rather in a college town living with my sister, Irene while I wandered my way back to college, there was a fellow, Ed Hyde, who had a bumper sticker 'kill your television'. I remember being taken by this, and the upswelling of a discovery of 'alternative lifestyles' - disconnecting from the mainstream and finding your own way. Accompanied by healthy eating, more hiking and time outdoors, a general distrust of conventional medicine, a move towards recycling and conservation, and so on and so forth. It made sense for me. So I killed my television, on and off, in fits and starts, until about 1997, after which I don't think it's ever had much of a role in my life. What's so great about killing your television? You get LOTS of time to do all of those things you've always wanted to do. And there are other benefits. . . .

We are now in the midst of a 30 day trial break from children's videos at our house. I started using children's videos somewhat innocently, to get a 20-30 minute break from parenting and to get some household quiet time (yes, perhaps you already see the contradiction here). It was great. Mia would occupy herself while I cooked, emailed, surfed, and filed all of those mounds of paper that so aggressively invade the American household. The videos were fun, taught good manners and behavior, and had Mia singing and dancing. All good, right? It was. We watched one Barney video every couple of days. Interspersed with an occasional Baby Einstein. Mia was almost 2. One thing I had learned about the problem with videos and young children has to deal with brain development. Their little minds are literally forming the connective network that will serve them throughout their lifetimes. TV, with it's flashy images and constant movement, forms much different networks than might be formed when a child just watches the trees blowing in the wind or the sun playing off of the wall or her mama cooking dinner. So the amount of TV watched is an issue, and the incidence of attention disorders grows in direct proportion to the amount of TV watched. One Barney video every couple of days for a toddler, we were in pretty good shape I thought. It was a bite of the apple that I felt we could take.

Fast forward 6 months later and all of a sudden, I realized the video train had gotten away from me for the last couple of weeks and was completely running on its own volition, with no interruption by me. We were (or should I say Mia was) watching videos in twice-a-day blocks at least a few days a week, one hour for each block. I was maxing out my 10-video-at-a-time allotment from the Library, and our personal collection had grown to include several titles. I was pretty happy with the ones we watched - Franklin, Bob the Builder (don't you just love claymation?), Little People, and a couple of the less odd Wiggles shows (Mia's absolute favorite, by the way). But something was going on. Mia was waking every night (some molar teething, to be sure, but maybe something else too?), suddenly we were overwhelmed as a family with Mia's excitable behavior, and I never felt relaxed or quiet - serene - inside anymore. So one day, last week, Thursday I believe, I just said 'enough'. And killed our television (again). I decided to take a 30-day trial of video-free life to see what affect it might have on our family. Here's a synopsis so far:

Day 1: I am amazed to find that my daughter can actually play by herself for long periods. It is an incredibly peaceful day. Mia sleeps through the night.

Day 2: Surprisingly, an intimacy is returned. I feel closer to Mia. As a family together, we watch an evening video - something like 'Life in the Undergrowth'. A breaking of the rules of my video vacation, but we'll try it (apparently the TV doesn't die easily). It is a nature movie, we get these for fun at night or on weekends. But much to our chagrin, this series seems to focus on bug sex and bugs eating bugs (yes, sometimes during sex). Yuck. The digital cameras used are famously touted at the start of the video as being able to 'get closer than ever before'. Yahooey! And they use it for this? I am sure spiders and ants and slugs and snails (I told you it was gross) do more amazing things. But somehow even a nature video can't seem to escape the media's fixation on sex and violence? Ha. Odd. Our first step back into some kind of TV yields terrible results. Mia wakes up during the night, wide awake, scared, and I struggle to get her back to sleep.

Day 3: This is the weekend, and we all get sick with a nose cold. We have fun at a pie contest in the morning, but are all pretty sick. We cave again (resistance is futile. . . ). One 'family video' - the Wiggles Movie. Pretty tame and short, and watched in the middle of the day, not close to nap or bedtime. I can't remember if Mia wakes up at night? Oh, yes, when she falls out of the bed. Gets back to sleep quickly.

Day 4: Still sick. If we had videos today, new ones from Netflix, we'd watch them for sure. It is beautiful outside though, so the windows are open and a nice breeze blows in along with the strong Colorado sun. But let's face it, we're all tired and don't want to venture out. Lo and behold, no videos, stuck inside = great day. We have a wonderful time as a family getting back to the basics. Mia plays by herself and gets some help from us. Papa Kevin does some laundry and cleaning, I take 2 naps (!) and go through a huge pile of paperwork. We spend the whole day inside, no videos. It is truly a peaceful and rewarding day. Life slows to a comfortable pace. We all feel close again. (instead of being run like beasts) Mia sleeps through until early morning. Back to the basics and back on track.

Day five: I learn something quite beautiful today. Mia can play with Ellie and make her laugh. Now this is worth a thousand times of Mia asking to watch a movie and at least 10 or 12 meltdowns because she has to entertain herself. My heart swells as I hear little Ellie's giggles roll out, and feel her tiny body bounce with happiness in my arms.

And guess what. . . I have time on my hands to do all of those things I've always wanted to do, like start a blog to keep in touch with family. While Mia pushes Ellie around, laughing, in her walker.

to be continued. . . .

Getting Started

Here we go! This is my first post. I am starting this blog to keep in touch with family, as we moved from our East Coast home to the middle of Colorado in August, 2007. 8 months later and a lot has happened. Our lives have blossomed in the Colorado sun, our 2nd daughter was born, family has visited, we've bought a home on the edge of the Front Range, and we've begun to settle in and make friends, both with the landscape and the people and places within it.

Here's a picture of the girls in our camper a couple of weekends ago, in a campground above Crestone (far out) in the Sangre De Cristo Mountains, near Sand Dunes National Monument. Who do you think will win this round of Connect Four?

Soon I will make a 2 week trip home to MD and VA. Joy! I am sure it will be strange and beautiful to be back home after so many months have passed. In the meanwhile, I'll get used to blogging and spread the word to family!